walking mrs. wigglebum

A brief synopsis of one of today's walk with my dog Zoe:
- She crashes through the front door and drags me to a patch of grass, squats, pees.
- There is a woman walking front of us....MUST....LICK...HER HAND!
- "Ooo, man on crutches...sooo scary!" as she wraps me two times around with her leash. I drop keys. Curse.
- Zoe stops and stares at wall across the street so intently that two passers-by stop to find out what she's looking at. We decide she's looking at absolutely nothing. Several minutes later she decides we're right and we continue.
- Sketched out Zoe keeps an eye on the homeless-looking guy walking behind us for the whole block....until she walks headfirst into a mailbox which seems to divert her attention momentarily.
- Stops to "do bidniz" off edge of curb (best place to do bidniz, in her opinion)....looks at me strangely as I pick it up as if to say "now why would you do that?"
- Frightened-looking woman scoops up her toddler as we approach...apparently she's been watching too many newscasts on "vicious pitbulls"....Zoe takes one look at woman's big hair and scurries to the other side of the sidewalk with her tail between her legs.
- "Lady of the night" who loves dogs and is very boisterous tries to pet Zoe...Zoe tries to run away...I feel bad as if I snubbed her myself...apologize to "lady of the night".
- Go home...Zoe bashes her head on the elevator door trying to get out of the elevator too quickly.
- I sit down to get all the white hairs off my black coat. Estimated time of hair removal? 25 minutes. I can't wait for the next adventure.