things you shouldn't admit to

I was dealing with this deaf guy for an hour and a half today. He had a bunch of brain tumours that had taken away his hearing so while he spoke I had to write all of my replies/comments/questions on paper because he couldn't read lips. At the end of our session I cracked a joke (I had to write it down to convey to to him), and he started explaining himself as if he thought I was serious. So then I wrote "that was a joke", and "sorry" and he was like "i know!" as if I was the dumb one. I got really annoyed, because it was really lame to have to write "that was a joke", and just because he had a bunch of brain tumours my joke still deserved some appreciation god dammit.

It was raining the other day and I caught a nifty shot looking down on the rain as it fell. You don't get that perspective often, unless you live in an apartment building and that is pretty rare nowadays in downtown Vancouver now isn't it.

My most despised writer from the Globe & Mail wrote a petty tirade recently (I won't give her the dignity of being named) about the glory of the conservatives' childcare policy. She crowed about the $$ individual parents would receive...$$ that may cover a few weeks of daycare (this guy is far more educated than I am on the real-world effects of such policies).

For the people who desperately need subsidized childcare that amount is insufficient to cover their costs and definitely doesn't provide enough income to allow a parent to stay at home. For the wealthier parents that $$ will likely be thrown in an RESP or will go towards this year's tropical vacation. That's the problem with right-wing policies that treat everyone the same while ignoring the gross systemic inequalities--they mistake the ideal of "equality" with the act of treating everyone equally. Until a little more thought is put into the real-world ramifications of some of these financial policies, it will be just one more reason I will never vote conservative.

the boonies

This is where I grew up, in the middle of the country. It's pretty close to a ghost-town now. There are 11 houses and at one time there were more dogs living in the town than people (and I came from a family of 6 people with 2 dogs, so we were doing our best to tip the human/dog scale).

I don't "do" baby-talk

Why are so many stay-at-home moms ("sahm"s in obnoxious cyberspeak) so adamently opposed to subsidized daycare? Obviously it's a pride thing, where a woman feels her work is devalued if it can be done by someone else for a price. Does daycare provide a better environment than a stay-at-home mom (or dad) does? In most cases, probably not. It's kind of like serving frozen orange juice concentrate rather than freshly-squeezed, organically grown orange juice. Does the freshly-squeezed juice taste better? Yeah. Is it more nutritional, and friendlier to the environment? Yeah. Is the frozen OJ going to have longterm, serious ramifications for anyone who drinks it regularily. No.

I wish we could put aside our own insecurities and beliefs in a child-oriented "utopia" because only the vulnerable end up bearing the burden of inaccessible daycare. It would be wonderful if all women (or men) could make the choice whether to stay home and raise their kids. Unfortunately, the ones who oppose subsidized daycare so adamently are often the ones who are financially able to make the decision whether to use daycare or not.

you would be correct if you thought this had a double-meaning

You know how sometimes when you're in a hurry you get off a bus to transfer to another, faster bus and then you end up waiting 10 minutes for the faster bus so you should have just stayed on the slower bus? I used to do that all the time, then I decided to use the "stay on the slower bus" strategy and have stuck with that for awhile now. I don't know if it works, and sometimes it's so hard to stay on the crappy slow bus when the fast ones just seem to whip by every 2 minutes. I think no matter which bus I take I'll end up being late. Even if my intention is to be early.

43 things

I was checking out this website and it half-inspired me, half-depressed me. The inspiration came from my love of such master life lists, and the depression came from the things people chose to put on their list of 43 things they want to do with their lives.

I like to be inspired. Sometimes I depend too much on other people to be inspirational and when they don't rise above average (which is their right, as it is mine) I view them with criticism. There are so many people drifting through life, or frantically paddling in the wrong direction when we can be so much more.

So what do people want to do with their lives? These are some of the 43 things people wanted to do with their lives, with my accompanying cynical comments:

"grow in my relationship with Christ" Well that's just sad. It's not even cute like the 5 year old who stays up til 2am in hopes of spotting "Sanna".

"make enough money so that money doesn't matter anymore" Sigh. It's sad how many people haven't caught on to the curse of money...the more you have, the more it matters. Money always matters. Only your state of mind can overcome that curse. And not many people reach that state.

"grow taller" Unless they're under the age of 18, GOOD LUCK. These people must enjoy beating themselves up for not reaching their goals.

"Read (insert book here)" If the books people put on their lists were challenging, or monumental, or in another language it would be cool. But people want to read "The Davinci Code" or "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintanence". I want to ask them if they are dyslexic or are illiterate, otherwise just read the damn book.

"do 50 sit-ups a day" This person missed the part about this being a lifelong list, and not a "43 things to do this year" list. What are they going to do when the arthritis sets in?

"watch Grey's Anatomy" Wow, well this person is AMBITIOUS. What else is on their list? "Paint my toenails red"? "try a new brand of mouthwash"?

"dance like nobody's watching" Can we get some originality on aisle 9? What else was on this person's list...let me guess: "love like I've never been hurt", "sing like nobody's listening" (call my mom on the last one, she is really good at that).

"make a new friend" Make a new friend? A single friend? Over the rest of your life? This person must be very unfriendly. I think the person was probably going for beauty through simplicity, but that's just laughable.

"save someone's life" At first glance, this goal seems honourable. But think about it. If someone was dying before them and it wasn't on their list would they just turn their back? "Nah, that goal didn't make the list...sorry man" or what if they reach 80 years of age and haven't reached their goal yet? Do they stab their wife and then call 911 and pass her a gauze pad to reach their life goal of saving a life? I prefer more concrete goals, like "become certified in first aid", or "become a paramedic" or even "go to a disaster zone to help victims".

"pass the bar exam without going to law school" I didn't know that was possible. What the hell am I spending all this money on?

Ok, so I'm uberjudgmental. Well here are some of the ones I liked: "learn to speak (insert language here)", "visit every single continent" (hopefully this person doesn't cheap out and avoid Antarctica), "make out in a red telephone booth", and for its entertainment value, "become a better witch". Overall, there were not very many unique, concrete, admirable goals.

I will be working on my list over the next few days. I've always wanted to create a checklist (creating lists is a passion of mine) but needed a magic number. 43 will be my number, for now. I reserve the right to add more things, replace things, and remove things when I get older and smarter and realize that certain things aren't worthy of my master list.